… In A World That Doesn’t Have The Time For it?

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Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

Life, and within that context, relationships, are too long to expect yourself to ride nothing but the highs. You can’t choose the ebbs and the lows. They happen. Change happens. And we do a great kindness to ourselves and to others when we decide to call this change ‘evolution’.

And evolution is far from a straight line
Highs and lows
Victories and Failure
Ease and the Uncomfortable
Palatable and the Unlikeable
Seasons of brilliance and seasons of barely there, hanging by the skin of your teeth.

So the question…

How to keep calm and carry on being a clinger just because it is comforting.

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Photo by mohit suthar on Unsplash

As a human with teetering self-worth, you know that the real purpose, real happiness, the whole point of this life is to find true love. To believe in true love is to believe in magic. All you have to do is take a deep breath and tell yourself that sooner or later love will manifest. That there is a special someone who has been carefully curated just to be your better half.

For years, Bollywood musicals, Hollywood rom-coms, Mills&Boon and Barbara Cartland’s regency romances have…

Because you deserve to, and have to, stand up for your heart.

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Photo by Ignacio R on Unsplash

There is a certain kind of grace in love. The grace that teaches you courage and teaches you warmth. A grace that shows you how to be more of you and at the same time recognize that had it not been for a certain kind of love, you could never have been the kind of you that you would like to be. Love teaches you how to be you.

A part of the freedom of being yourself is also to honour parts of yourself that give a little…

To The Girl Who Is Trying To Find Home In This World.

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Photo by todd kent on Unsplash

Till your feet go numb
Run …
So your heart finds a home.

Run to the sun
Catch the sun
Eat it up

Go be a glow-worm
In the woods
Where the crickets creak.

Then run to the river
Dive in
Swim in the rapids

Swim with the sharks!
With the star-fish…
With the dolphins…

Lie in a bed of anemones
Get tangled up in sea-weeds
Go play hide-and-seek …
In the forgotten ship-wrecks and forsaken debris… Go!

Float-in with the tide…

About meaning, and belonging, and rest and care…after a lifetime of running away.

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Photo by Elaine Howlin on Unsplash

Where will you find home…
Now that, yet again, you have moved away?
In the boxes stacked up in the corners of your mind?
In the straining awnings of false pretenses
That you disguised as your martyred self?

Do you think you could ever make your way back home again,
After years and years of bleating on
About how you could barely survive
The mundane regular-ness of life?

Not having tasted the essence of your own waters
How do you expect to be a safe harbour? …

Everyday positive interactions that heal relationships and bring more happiness.

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Every relationship has it’s set of problems. Big or small, they form the creaking wheels of a machinery which needs much oiling and constant maintenace. It would be foolish to assume your relationship would always be happy and stress-free. It would be equally foolish to assume that happiness comes naturally and that if it takes effort it’s not worth it.

The best of us would admit that we sometimes can’t stand the sight of our partner. …

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Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

One of the most unique aspects of our human existence is the ability to feel, process, express and communicate emotions. And what is even more interesting is our need to have our emotions validated. We communicate via words, inflections of speech, nuances of our facial expressions and body language. We often also communicate in the way we DO NOT express certain things.

We can never really know when, what or who would disappoint us. But almost every day, with a slightly dispiriting inevitability, someone will hurt us in some way. It could be a friend, a colleague, a child or…

The Dangers Of Trying To Navigate Love Without Any Self-love

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Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Love is a great solace. Some of the reasons we fall in love with people is because we long to escape from our self into the embrace of a person who appears to us as beautiful, wonderful, perfect and accomplished.

As flawed as we are, they are perfect. As dull as we are, they are fun, entertaining, enthralling. As mediocre as we are, they are wonderful and exciting. As messed up and hopeless as we find our self to be they accomplish the rare feat of being the gateway to…

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Photo by Jayden Yoon ZK on Unsplash

We all have a back story. Our stories shape us. They become imbedded in our emotional DNA and form the blueprint on which we pattern our relationships. With time we adapt ourselves to these patterns and learn to survive, to fit in, to belong and we unwittingly carry these stories with us through life.

Our stories give us nuance, give character to our quirks and vulnerabilities, make us into wholesome, three-dimensional, walking artforms. But these stories are also what form our issues around trust, boundaries, intimacy, vulnerability, authenticity.

Building a relationship is not always neat and easy. Sometimes, it can…

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Photo by Clarisse Meyer on Unsplash

It’s all very much still
Quite the same
Yet different.
Like a seamless ripple.

In the throat.
Came out as half a croak.
This silent, unbroken promise
That kept bringing you back to me….

Wrapped in a bubble
Of mindless joy.
Your face, your smile
The soft crows feet at the corner of your eyes…

Generous flecks
Of salt and pepper
Are now dusted on your stubble
It all becomes familiar again, in our new normal…

Your laughter, that could move mountains Has kept us company through years of What-ifs and many a coulda’ve, woulda’ve beens This laughter today…

Yashodhara Pawar

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