Learn To Live With A Beating Heart
About time, perspective and healing from the past.
You were so afraid of losing
Losing love. Losing friends. Losing chances.
So afraid of losing every thing that was bright
That you kept filling your void senselessly.
You filled your void with so much noise… Any noise.
Jokes. Laughter. Giggles. Banter
Screams. Battle-cries and maudlin ever-afters
Just so you could avoid hearing your own voice.
The people who were supposed to love you
Made you too afraid to look into a mirror.
You were taught instead to be a forced ideal
Of beauty. Money. Body. The big talk
Of philosophy. Acceptance. Love. Respect. Loss.
They did not like losing
So they fought their battles through you.
Silly desires and turf wars
Tick-tock! said your empty heart.
You cursed your life for being too slow
When it was only teaching you to be steady.
When things got harder than they should be
You closed your eyes and put on your paper crown.
Anything that was too nice
Too kind. Too sweet. Too quiet
You scoffed at and turned away
Because it was too good to be yours.
Instead you stayed
Like a hamster on a wheel
Tripping over dreams you couldn’t see
You made mountains where bridges were meant to be.
But there comes a time in everyone’s life
When things begin to shift. To slip and wither.
The walls caved in
And now you need to grow.
Now you want things. Now you want more.
You seek a love that is divine
And a kindness that is mellow.
You see that life comes easy to the next fellow
And through your tears
You wonder- Why???
Now is the time, O lonely one
Lay down the sword
Wipe off the tears, the mudslide of fears
Bid the stories you hold dear, a firm goodbye.
Rewire the course of the monkey bars
Crack a window in the echo chambers of your past.
Begin to scrub clean
The blue-prints you were given
And find grace in letting go.
Let go…
Of the souls that will forever be lost.
Learn. Speak-up
With fondness… Of your own heart.
No matter what the cost
No matter how long you have been lost.
Extract yourself from the front-lines
And stand up for your part
For your own kind.
As you salve the hurts that you caused
Especially for the things you never intended to do
The fog lifts. You begin to walk
The kind of walk that will carry you through.
With time and with a lot of careful thought
You will learn to breathe
Without setting the fire-alarms off
You will learn to ease into being a better you.
A “You” that they might not like
But you build on this, no matter how hard.
You learn to be a better you
The “You” that now has a beating heart.
